Dear Sir, Madame, Fellow, or Lady, Whatsoever Which You Prefer, This is not my first time writing. I have written before. You may remember me, you may not. My name is Ramadupa. I am a yogi living in the richest state of India.
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“And then Ganesh came in with a machine gun and he hit the bazooka shell in midair. It was amazing!” Billy the Kid finishes his second ‘Nam story.
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Billy the Kid is saying, “Yeah, so the governor of Karnagapully is on the street, when suddenly, he sees a monkey, right? A big monkey. A monkey king! And there’s not supposed to be any monkeys here, this is Kerala after all.
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I am dreaming. How do I know? Because I am not me. If I was me I would not be at the helm of a pirate ship, relishing the smell of cedar. I would not be watching a sea of red swelling up in my face.
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“Hi this is my first post up here,” I do the characteristic first video pause, “here on Youtube. I wrote out what I was going to say, actually. Then I memorized it.
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“The Universe is shaped Exactly like the Earth,” A grey-haired Brock croons in three simulated dimensions with perfect fidelity sound, “if you go straight long enough you end up where you were--”
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“It’s designed to jettison into space in case of a boarding. But if you do jettison, then you need a code to keep it from blowing up. Benj, the Captain, never gave me the code.” He says this idly, as the doors close.
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“You know what’s worse than being whipped between bodies and realities like an overbeaten dog?” I realized suddenly I was asking. I was asking a man with really thick black curly hair. Almost like a sheep. A black sheep.
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I'd like to take a minute now, just sit right there, and I'll tell you all about the English Program In Korea.
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So I follow Phil out the door. I really like the reality simulator. I can't use it myself, of course, but I observe at every opportunity. When Phil is sleeping I will flit from room to room until I find something interesting. I've learned a lot about the world just through these.
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The young and the damned has not initiated any private discussions.